regarding love
Welch illustrates how parasitism can be mistaken as love:
“‘I do not want to live. I cannot live without my husband [wife, girlfriend, boyfriend], I love him [or her] so much.’
And when I respond, as I frequently do, ‘You are mistaken; you do not love your husband [wife, girlfriend, boyfriend].’
‘What do you mean?’ is the angry question. ‘I just told you I can’t live without him [or her].’
I try to explain. ‘What you describe is parasitism, not love.’”
-Ed Welch, When People Are Big And God Is Small, 182 (quoting Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled)
And he goes on to state exactly what I/we need to hear:
“People are our cherished idols. We worship them, hoping they will take care of us, hoping they will give us what we feel we need. What we really need are biblical shapes and identities for other people. Then, instead of needing people to fill our desires, we can love people for the sake of God’s glory and fulfill the purpose for which we were created.”
But why should we? (This is the root of the issue). And what does it look like?
We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.
-1 John 4:19-21
This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.
-John 15:12-13
Love seeks the best for the other; the best is Christ; all things are loss compared to the surpassing worth of knowing him. “Surpassing worth”? Recall the gospel.
And as you do, remember that it was he who loved us first, while we still hated him.
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